I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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