Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
