i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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