where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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