Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
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I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
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I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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