the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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