"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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