dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
