I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
