omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
home. puking in laundry basket.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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