Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
