marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
