I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
