Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
