Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
