Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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