Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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