If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
