This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
