Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
