just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
