I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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