Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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