I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
