she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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