im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have fence marks all over my body
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
