he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
