So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
