Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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