I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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