Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My balls are so social today.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
