from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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