you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
