People with herpes should wear stickers.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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