i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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