can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
