Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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