she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
