he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
