So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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