I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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