We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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