in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
