First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
