i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
