i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
