Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
