So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
