Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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