Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize