I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
