and she was petting her beer can
do herpes really smell.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
