I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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