I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
