I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
