His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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