so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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