To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
