How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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