Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
3pm strippers are depressing
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
