whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
