dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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