I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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