U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
