when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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