my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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